Notes from Dr Brene Brown’s TEDx talk on Wholeheartedness

Connection. Connection is why we are here and it gives purpose in our lives. What makes a person that feels happy and loved different than a person that feels ashamed and lacking love and acceptance?


  • Shame, the fear of disconnection, unravels connection.
  • the people that have a strong sense of love and belonging believe they are worthy of love and belonging.
  • Vulnerability is the core of shame, fear, and our struggle for worthiness.
  • Vulnerability is the birthplace for joy, creativity, belonging and love.
  • We numb vulnerability
  • We are the most in debt, obese, addicted, and medicated adult cohort in history

  • You can’t selectively numb emotion.
  • When we numb the unwanted emotions, we also numb all our other joyful emotions.
  • There’s no discourse in politics any more, just blame.
  • We pretend that what we do doesn’t have an effect on other people.

Action points

  • Think about why and how we numb our emotions.
  • Everything we do has an impact on others.
  • Let yourself be deeply seen
  • Love with your whole heart even though there is no guarantee
  • Practice gratitude and joy
  • Don’t focus on the bad that might happen, be grateful
  • Believe that we are enough
  • Stop screaming and start listening

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